Every afternoon I went to labor thinking “this might be the afternoon I lose my task.” That’s the terror of corporate life when you are a pothead.

I had to quit smoking weed for a month before I started toiling here. That’s how long it took to get all the THC out of my system so I could pass the drug test! After I got hired the bosses told me that they reserved the right to issue a random drug test to any employee at any time. That was constantly looming over me like a dark cloud, because there was no way I would quit smoking cannabis for good, however even if it got me fired one afternoon, residing without a bi-weekly dose of cannabis is not a life I want to live! Instead, I went to the cannabis dispensary plus bought a jar of fake pee, which I kept in my desk drawer at work. My plan was that if I ever got a random drug test I would just use the fake pee, plus test wipe for cannabis. If you were not aware of this, numerous cannabis shops sell products to help you get around drug tests. They sell imitation urine, of course, but also “purge” products to help rid your system of THC more abruptly. As of last yearI can throw away my jar of fake urine, because the bosses are no longer testing for cannabis. This is a long time coming, plus it means now I can start smoking cannabis in the parking lot while in dinner.
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